To Trust A Stranger
by Airplanes.or.shooting.stars
Summary: When Logan left Marie changed, and not for the better. Now he's back and things are going to get messy. Can they learn to live with, trust and love someone who's become a stranger? ROGAN. Rating may change to M as continued
1. Trust

**Author's Note:** The start of a little story I couldn't keep out of my head. I haven't decided whether to expand on it or not, but it was begging to be written! Please review, I'd really like to know what you think :)

**Pairing: **Rogue/Wolverine

**Rating**: M for hopeful future chapters!

Chapter 1

_Truth_

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Have you ever taken a moment and just looked at yourself? And I mean _really_ looked at yourself. You see all the flaws and imperfections that nobody really notices. But you notice them.

When I look in the mirror I see what everyone else sees: auburn hair, strange white streaks, pasty white skin and full pink lips. But I also see poison.

It's in my blood, all over my skin, but mainly I think, it's in my mind.

A simple touch, an accidental brush of skin on skin and then someone is hurt, terrified, dead. They're stuck in my head- all those people and their memories- and sometimes I don't think I can take it anymore.

I am poison, I've been told enough. Not with words, but with frightened glances in my direction and quiet murmurs of, "She's the one who kills with a touch".

I have my friends- Kitty, Jubilee, Bobby- but even they don't get too close. They can't risk it. They won't risk it. So I am left alone in my own world.

I am a true rogue- afraid of everyone and everything. And everyone is afraid of me too. Everyone that is, except Logan.

He's the one who found me when I was lost, helped me learn to live.

And now? Well now I think I've made a bit of a mistake.

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**A/N: **What do you think? I'd love to know whether to continue or not!


	2. Falling

**A/N:** Yay chapter 2! It's taken a different direction to what I had originally planned, but I'll see how it goes. Please feel free to review with your opinion!

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Have you ever had that feeling, like when you're falling in your dream and when you wake up you're still falling? Well that's how I feel all the time. Logan was my rock, when he left I floated like a ghost of my former self.

I guess he thought that leaving was a selfless deed, cutting off our connection completely and leaving us cold turkey style. Huh, I wish that had worked.

It was all because of that stupid night in the danger room. I like to go there late at night and work out my stress and anger and to get the voices in my head to stop for a few hours. I suppose that's what Logan wanted to do as well.

I was in there working up a sweat last November, late enough that everyone was sleep, but not so late that I was too tired to focus. I finished my work out and turned to see Logan standing in the doorway.

**Flashback**

"God Logan you scared me."

"Sorry, kid just wanted to get a go in here while it was quiet, I guess you beat me to it."

"It's ok, I've just finished."

"You're getting stronger kid," I cringed at the use of my nickname again. "but you're not strong enough yet. Come on, we'll work on some of your defense."

**End flashback**

We stayed in that room for hours training and fighting, but it didn't feel like that to me. Logan was never afraid of me, or what I could do. He didn't run, but helped me to be stronger than ever. We trained until our muscles were sore and all I wanted to do was get a cold shower and climb into bed.

I didn't realize he was going to kiss me until his lips were on mine. That was a shock. I stood frozen to the spot, trying to memorize everything; his smell, his body on mine, the feel of his lips. And that's when I felt my mutation begin to pull. It seems to me that anytime anything good happens, my mutation will kick in to stop it, like it _wants_ to stop me from being happy. Well it certainly worked. Unfortunately Logan didn't seem to be noticing.

I panicked and pulled myself out of his grasp and I ran. I ran straight out of the doors of the mansion and into the woods. I heard him shouting after me, but he didn't follow.

It took me hours for the buzz of his strength to leave. That's the worst part of my mutation- it just takes and takes and loves every moment of power.

I went back to the mansion when I felt like myself again. I wanted to explain myself, for him to explain himself as well, but Logan was gone. His room was bare and there was no sign of his bike in the garage. I drove him away.

He didn't understand why I ran away from him. It wasn't _him_, he was all I had wanted. Yes, he terrified me, but not in the way that he thought he did.

I honestly didn't try to run from him, I was trying to run away from my mutation. My soul-sucking mutation.

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**A/N:** What do you think? Please review!


	3. Loneliness

**A/N:** Please read and review, I love to know what you think!

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**Chapter**** 3: **Loneliness

When I think of all the people who are alone, it actually makes me feel better. I'm bitter, lonely and cynical, but it helps knowing that I'm not the only one.

Sometimes I wonder if we grouped all the people who are alone in this world together, would that help? Probably not.

We choose to be alone; we drive people from us, keeping them at a distance and ourselves in isolation.

I think the reason I've been left alone is because of how little I changed on the outside. It was gradual- skip a few meals, decline shopping trips, stop going to some classes. In a few weeks I was right back to square one.

While I withdrew from normal life, I threw myself into training with Professor Xavier. I stayed with him, locked away in his office for hours every day for months, trying to gain control of my mutation and my life.

I was exhausted, physically and mentally, but after 3 months I had locked away the voices in my head, I could go for short periods of time without my skin being poisonous. It wasn't permanent and it wasn't easy, but it was a start.

The first thing I had wanted to do when I could finally touch the Professor without killing him was run and tell Logan, but of course he was gone. It was strange, Logan had always been there for the momentous occasions in my life; birthdays, my graduation, becoming an official member of the X-men, and it made my small victory seem almost hollow. I wanted him to hug me, tell me I had done great, hold my bare hand.

Only one other person apart from me and the Professor knew about my control, Gambit. He wasn't meant to know- nobody was for their own protection- but he had walked in on my once trying out my new power.

I had my eyes closed in concentration, and the next thing I knew, he was touching my skin. I used him as my practice, he wasn't afraid to let me touch him; he was the only one who wasn't. He helped me for weeks, letting me use him as a dummy for switching my skin on and off. We tried and tried until my soul-sucking skin was finally just skin. I was finally free.

It was natural we would become close; Remy was a known ladies man, a womanizer, a charmer. But no one thought anything of our friendship, it's not like we could do anything with my deadly skin, right? If only they knew.

I've always been a bit of a loner, even around Jubilee or Kitty or even Bobby, I'm never really there. They try their best to make me feel included I know, but they got used to me being the shy, quiet girl from the South. It was who I was, and they didn't want to change me, they were _scared_ to try and change me.

I guess that's what drove me to Remy. He didn't ask questions, he didn't pry or push or try and made me talk, he let me be me.

Sometimes I regret that I had my firsts with him- the first time I could touch, the first time I could kiss, the first time I finally spent the night with a man. Remy was nice and he was good, but he wasn't everything I wanted. I would wake up in the mornings and forget who was beside me, and I couldn't help but be disappointed when I remembered. The sound of my name was never the same from his lips, his touch, his taste his smell, it was never the same. My relationship with him even surprised me for a while. I would jump when he hugged me or surprised me with a kiss, thinking, _hoping,_ that it was someone else.

But, as we grew closer, I started thinking of Logan less. Yes, I still thought of him every day, but not all the time. I didn't think of what he was doing or if he missed me anymore; it would be little things, like wanting to tell him a hockey match was on, or ordering a pizza and wondering if he'd want any before I brought myself back to reality. I slowly started forgetting what Logan really smelt like, what his favourite beer was, if he ever really was just as amazing as I had once thought he was.

And though that thought healed me, it scared me just the same.


End file.
